


And Then He Sang To Me

by SupernaturalPrincess9



Series: Sam and Dean: Songs from the Heart [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Karaoke, M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 13:23:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3730510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalPrincess9/pseuds/SupernaturalPrincess9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean sings a song to Sam, revealing the feelings he's had since before Sam left for Stanford. The story is set in mid-season 8, not tied to the story line with no spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Then He Sang To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Story can be read as a happy ending to "The End of the Moment" or as a stand-alone piece. 
> 
> Inspired by Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

Sam and Dean were on a case in Peoria, IL. Nothing special; just another werewolf hunt, but they were having a hard time gaining any traction. The werewolf they were after was a smart one, covering its tracks. They had been out in the woods north of town and were weary from a long day’s work. 

Last time they’d been in this town, they’d been looking for Ava. They didn’t talk about that time, but both men were thinking of it as they drove down University Avenue.

Sam was thinking about how much her time in Cold Oak had changed Ava. She’d been so sweet when he first met her, driving across the country to help someone she didn’t know. She was someone else entirely after months of living what essentially amounted to the Hunger Games, old west style.

Sam understood her instinctual self-preservation… to a point. When he looked over at Dean as he drove, however, Sam was reminded of what love could do, how it could ground you and help you walk the right path. 

Dean had always been willing to sacrifice himself for Sam – and had literally done so. Sam wasn’t going to let his thoughts dwell on the terrible day he held Dean’s lifeless body in his arms. It didn’t matter now because Dean was by his side and had been for years. Hopefully he always would be exactly where he was right now: in the driver’s seat of the Impala, cruising down crazy street with his brother.

Sam looked down at his hands, thinking about how love could also lead you down the wrong paths, no matter how noble your intentions. That was, Sam realized, the fundamental difference between him and his brother: love focused Dean, brought out the protective warrior within him; love made Sam crazy and desperate.

A life without Dean had proven far too difficult for Sam to handle. Twice now. Three times if one counted the 6 months after 100 hellish Tuesdays in the Mystery Spot. Sam had been frantic to get Dean back all of those times. And he’d made terrible decisions in his desperation. 

Sam sighed and wished, not for the first time, that he could be half the man his brother was. Maybe successfully completing the trials to close the gates of Hell would finally make up for all of his mistakes. It was his hope, at least.

Dean was lost in his own thoughts about Cold Oak. He had started with thoughts of Ava due to their present location, but once he thought of her, all thoughts led to recalling how Sam had died in his arms there. Dean could easily remember the agonizing feeling of Sam’s body going limp in when he died as Dean held him in his arms. It was years later and he still had nightmares about it.

Whenever he looked at Sam, part of him always remembered that moment. His heart had been shattered. If will and love alone could bring someone back from the dead, Dean wouldn’t have had to make the deal with the crossroads demon. Love is a powerful emotion but it can’t undo death alone. Dean never regrets the deal he made to get Sam back. 

Even if he were still in hell being tortured by Alistair, he wouldn’t regret his decision to trade his life for Sam’s. He’d gotten 365 more days with Sammy and the hope that Sammy would be top side, living a life that would have been enough for both of them. 

Of course, so much had happened since then, and Sam wasn’t living the life Dean had imagined he would be when the hell hounds tore him apart. But there wasn’t much Dean could do about that right now.

When Dean heard Sam sigh, he guessed that Sam’s thoughts were also about Ava and their time in Cold Oak. Without thinking, he reached over and took Sam’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together, needing the contact as he shook off the fear and desperation he felt whenever he thought about watching Sam drop to his knees, feeling his baby brother’s life draining away into the dirt as Dean held him and yelled his brother’s name over and over…

Sam looked down at Dean’s hand holding his. He watched Dean’s thumb gently stroking his own and he understood that they were both lost in memories that they’d rather forget. Sam tightened his grip on Dean’s hand, squeezing it gently but he didn’t let go. 

When it occurred to Sam that he might be enjoying the contact a little too much, he still didn’t let go. Things had been tense between he and Dean since Dean returned from Purgatory. They weren’t how Sam wanted them to be, but he hadn’t been able to fix things; not entirely anyway. So Sam held onto Dean’s hand and ignored the slow burn building in his gut as the contact continued to affect him.

They drove with their hands entwined for a while; the silence in the car was easy and the tunes were good. Dean didn’t want to let go, but he also didn’t want Sam to think he’d lost his mind so with a final squeeze, he looked over at Sam. “You ok, Sammy?”

Sam looked back at him, a small smile on his face. “Yeah, Dean. I’m ok… um… thanks…” he said as he nodded his head at their hands.

Dean smiled. “Sure, Sammy.” He released Sam’s hand, immediately missing the warmth and connection it had brought to him. It had been a long, long time since he’d held Sam’s hand in his. It hadn’t been the same as holding his hand when he was a child. 

The pudgy little hand Dean had held so many times was now bigger than his own with long, lean fingers capable of great grace and deadly force. Despite all of their training and the type of lives they led, Sam’s skin was still soft and smooth. And warm, but not sweaty as his hand had been when he was young.

Where his skin had been in contact with Sam’s, Dean felt a tingling sensation. He also felt the urge to reach across and grab Sam’s hand again, which he suppressed. Dean had harbored intense feelings for Sam since right before he’d left for Stanford. All these years later, those feelings were still there and occasionally resurfaced. Normally Dean could tamp them down, put them in a box in his mind and run like hell away from them.

Unfortunately, his brain had other ideas today and decided to linger there, with thoughts of how he truly felt about his brother: Dean liked holding hands with Sam. Dean wanted to do a hell of a lot more with Sam than just hold his hand. He could admit it to himself if he had to, but then he’d stuff those feelings back in their box and ignore them for as long as he could.

Today, however, Dean couldn’t stop his long suppressed feelings for Sam from emerging from their carefully constructed hiding place. He nearly groaned in his dismay. He’d thought that he had buried those feelings forever before he went to Stanford to get Sam so they could look for their father.

This wasn’t the first time he’d had to battle back those feelings, but it was the first time he felt himself losing the battle. He needed a diversion – something to stop his mind from dwelling on his feelings for Sam. He needed one quick.

Dean cleared his throat. “How ‘bout some beers and burgers, Sammy?” Dean needed to distract himself from these dangerous thoughts. He knew from previous experience just how overwhelming his feelings for Sam could be.

Sam nodded. “Sounds good, Dean.”

Dean saw a VFW up ahead and pulled into the lot. The brothers hopped out of the Impala, their long and always in sync strides carrying them into the building. 

It was a little after 7:00 PM and the bar was half-full. A sign announced that Thursdays were _Karaoke with Jill!_ nights, starting at 8:00 PM. Sam checked his watch and made a mental note to ensure he and Dean had finished their dinner in plenty of time to leave before horrible singers started acting like they thought they were rock stars.

Sam and Dean took seats at the bar. “Two beers,” Dean stated to the bartender. “Whatever you have on tap.” The older gentleman behind the bar nodded and grabbed two frosted pilsner glasses, efficiently filling them with Miller Genuine Draft using a technique he’d perfected over the decades.

Dean nodded in appreciation of the exact right amount of foam at the top of the glass.

“You boys need menus?” Pete asked as he placed a beer in front of each man.

Sam looked into the clear blue eyes of the bartender, noting his name was Pete, as announced by his name tag. “Sure, Pete. That would be great.”

Pete gave them a few minutes to peruse the menu. When Dean caught his eye, he came back and took their orders. He refilled Dean’s beer after sending the order back to the kitchen. Dean and Sam talked about the weather, some baseball and then the conversation trailed off. It wasn’t uncomfortable but they’d run out of safe topics so it was just easier to look around and soak up the atmosphere in silence.

Dean took a stroll around the bar, spending a couple of minutes watching a game of pool. He knew he could easily beat both men, but he was still too preoccupied with thoughts of Sam. He’d had to get away from him for a bit. Sam’s scent was driving him nuts. It always had and usually Dean could control his reaction to it… but between the Cold Oak memories and the emotional tsunami of his feelings for Sam resurfacing, he was struggling.

Big time.

When he felt like he’d gained back some control, he returned to his seat. Sam was doing a crossword puzzle in the local paper while he waited for his food. He had his tongue pushed out from the corner of his mouth as he considered a clue. Dean’s eyes kept darting to his tongue, thinking about…. _“Dammit!”_ Dean thought to himself. _“Get it together, man.”_

Dean gulped down the rest of his beer in frustration. He didn’t understand why or how these feelings for Sam had ever started. He supposed somewhere inside he was irrevocably broken. But even the knowledge that Sam should be off-limits didn’t stop Dean from wanting him. From loving him. It never had, and likely never would.

Pete refilled Dean’s beer once again after placing a double cheese burger and fries in front of him.

Dean was glad the food was here. Now he could concentrate on his burger and fries, keeping his thoughts focused on some delicious and greasy food. He took another sip of beer before digging in.

As Sam watched Dean take another long draw off his beer, he placed his hand, palm up in front of Dean. Without thinking, Dean placed his hand in Sam’s and gave him a smile around the foam on his upper lip.

Sam quirked an eyebrow at Dean. “That’s the universal signal for ‘give me the keys, I’m driving your drunk ass home’ not ‘hold my hand in a bar’, Dean.” 

Sam wasn’t going to point out that his fingers instinctively curled around Dean’s hand, holding it tight. And Sam’s snarky remark didn’t include him letting go of Dean’s hand. Nope. He still held on as he looked at his brother. 

Holding Dean’s hand was making Sam feel… something he didn’t want to name. Something that he tried so hard to keep at bay. Sam concentrated on controlling his breathing, keeping himself in check, as he waited for Dean to react.

Dean looked down at their hands joined together on the bar. He snatched his hand back, blushing. “Uh… sorry. Wasn’t thinking…” Dean reached into his pocket, bringing out the keys to the Impala. He slid them over to Sam, careful to make sure there was no danger of physical contact.

Sam felt a little guilty at his initial reaction so he put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I was just teasing you, man. It’s ok if you want to hold my hand.” Sam winked and then squeezed Dean’s shoulder, giving it a final pat before returning to his blackened salmon. 

Dean closed his eyes. That brief contact from Sam had given him fucking butterflies in his stomach like he was a goddamned girl.

A commotion at the front door drew their attention. A short girl with red spikey hair and voluptuous curves was leading 2 guys hauling equipment toward the stage. It appeared that the famous Jill had entered the building. 

Sam watched Dean’s eyes travel Jill’s form from head to foot and he felt himself bristle in response. Sam’s eyes widened when he realized he was jealous. 

_Not good, dude…_ , Sam thought to himself. Not good at all.

Sam and Dean went back to eating their dinners and talking about inconsequential things. Sometimes it was good to talk about football or movies. Everything didn’t always have to be about the job. Right now, for their own reasons, both Sam and Dean needed to talk about things that weren’t related to them, their work or how they felt, about anything.

Both men were thankful for the distraction of small talk.

Behind them, Jill’s friends set up her equipment while she went from table to table, placing song books and request slips at each one, chatting with the patrons as she passed.

Dean was startled when she placed her hand on his arm. “Well, hello Mr. Flannel Shirt! You’re not a regular. You new around these parts?” She batted her lashes as she gave Dean the once-over. Three times her eyes traveled up and down Dean’s body. Basically, Jill was eye fucking Dean, which was really pissing Sam off.

Sam narrowed his eyes and went back to his steamed vegetables. The ladies always made a mad dash for Dean. He should be used to it by now, but it had always bothered him. He never thought much about why it bothered him, he just knew it did. And it was bothering him a lot right now. He wanted to reach over and throw Jill’s hand off Dean’s arm.

Dean gave Jill a quick smile. “Just passin’ through.”

Jill leaned in to get a better look at Dean. “Ohmygod… freckles! You’re adorable. You gonna sing tonight, sweetie?”

Sam snorted and Dean shot him a quick look. He could sing. He could sing better than Sammy knew. “I might. Why don’t you leave a book and some request slips and we’ll see what happens.”

Jill did as asked and reluctantly moved along.

“Really, Dean?” Sam asked skeptically. “You’re going to sing? In a VFW in Peoria, Illinois?”

Dean lifted his chin, waved to Pete to get another beer, and then looked at Sam. “I’m considering it.”

Sam smirked. “Can’t wait to see this. I might have to take a picture of you, man.”

Dean gave Sam a withering look. “Yeah – you laugh now, Sammy.”

The two men went back to their dinners. Having finished his crossword puzzle in record time, Sam glanced through the local paper looking for anything that might help with their current case while Dean scanned the _Karaoke with Jill!_ Song Book. 

Dean knew he had a decision to make. And not just about the song he might sing. He’d been fighting these feelings for Sam for so long… and he was tired. He was tired of hiding how he felt. He was tired of pretending that Sam was just a brother to him. He was tired of so much.

But he was also afraid. If he revealed too much and there was nothing there on Sam’s end, he knew that there was no going back. Logic told him to continue on the path he’d always traveled while his heart begged him to be free.

Having made his decision, Dean wrote down his song selections and hoped that he’d made the right choice.

Sam didn’t see Dean fill out a couple of request slips and he tried to ignore Jill when she came back to flirt so he missed her grabbing Dean’s request slips, too.

Sam was getting a little ansty to go back to the motel when Jill finally got up in front of the crowd. 

“Hey Peoria VFW! How are we doing tonight?” her lilting voice rang out. 

Dean ordered 2 more beers and Sam suppressed a sigh. Apparently Dean was going to make him sit through terrible singers. He probably shouldn’t have said anything earlier. Dean liked to mess with Sam when the opportunity presented itself.

Jill started her show out with some Faith Hill. While Sam didn’t like country music, “This Kiss” had some cross-over appeal. Jill had a serviceable voice and the crowd gave her a nice round of applause.

“Next up we have Kenny!” Jill enthused through the speakers. “He’ll be treating us to some Frank Sinatra!” As Kenny made his way to the small stage, Jill looked down at her request slips. “And on deck, we have ‘just passing through’ Dean. Give it up for Kenny everyone!”

Sam looked over at Dean in surprise. He hadn’t actually considered that his brother might sing. When Dean didn’t look at him, Sam returned his attention to the current singer.

Kenny was an older gentleman, clearly blue collar based on his uniform, with tired brown eyes and a mostly bald pate. Sam was having a hard time focusing on him because Dean was up next. He’d never heard Dean sing before. Not outside the car anyway. He was a little nervous for his older brother. Which was silly. They were in a VFW in Peoria. They would be unlikely to be back, so who cared, right?

Apparently Dean was a little nervous as well because he ordered a double shot of Jack, neat, as Kenny butchered New York, New York. Pete set the shot down and Dean threw it back, gulping it all at once, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his mouth.

Sam smiled a little at Dean’s habits left over from childhood. Wiping his mouth with his sleeve always brought back memories of them eating the dinner Dean had made for them while John was out hunting. Remembering that made Sam feel protective of his brother.

Suddenly a note was hit that could not possibly be human. Sam blinked rapidly in response to the wail. Kenny was really getting into his song, strutting back and forth on the small stage. Sam groaned as Kenny started doing some Rockette kicks in time with the last strains of his song. 

Kenny bowed and the locals clapped and high-fived him on his way back to his table.

Sam hoped that Dean was just going to sing this one song and then they could leave. He knew he couldn’t take much more of listening to singers like Kenny.

“Ok… next up is Dean, who’s not from here and will be singing a song I didn’t even know I had!” 

Dean made his way up to the stage and gave a tight smile to Jill as he stepped up to the microphone.

As the song started, Sam was surprised to find that not only was it a song which was not on any of Dean’s cassettes, but it was also a song he’d never heard before. Sam briefly wondered how Dean knew it and when Dean would have time to listen to it without him. 

When Dean’s clear tenor voice rang out in the bar as he began to sing, Sam was quickly pulled back into the present and away from his musings.

_We'll do it all_  
_Everything_  
_On our own_

_We don't need_  
_Anything_  
_Or anyone_

Sam found himself sitting straight up, staring at his brother. He’d had no idea how beautiful his brother’s singing voice actually was. The song was slower and a little melancholy and Dean had his eyes closed as his voice filled the room.

Suddenly Dean’s eyes flew open and he locked gazes with Sam as he continued to sing.

_If I lay here_  
_If I just lay here_  
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_I don't quite know_  
_How to say_  
_How I feel_

_Those three words_  
_Are said too much_  
_They're not enough_

Sam couldn’t escape the intensity of Dean’s gaze and that, in conjunction with the words his brother was clearly singing just to him, made him feel naked, exposed and… yet… warm. Deep inside.

No. Sam felt like he was on fire. He knew he was blushing and he had a nearly impossible to ignore impulse to just start running… but Dean’s eyes held him in place.

_If I lay here_  
_If I just lay here_  
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told_  
_Before we get too old_  
_Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

 _“It’s a love song,”_ Sam thought to himself. 

Dean was singing a love song to him and it was both terrifying and electrifying all at the same time. Sam didn’t realize it, but he’d risen off his bar stool and was now standing tall and his gaze was entirely focused on his brother.

_Let's waste time_  
_Chasing cars_  
_Around our heads_

_I need your grace_  
_To remind me_  
_To find my own_

Sam could feel tears prickling behind his eyes. 

Dean was baring his soul to him in front of 60 or so other people in the middle of a VFW in Peoria on a Thursday night. He was laying it all out, right there for Sam to see. 

Dean finally broke their gaze, looking down at his hands wrapped around the microphone. His voice became a little huskier, more raw, as he continued. Sam willed him to look up again. He wanted Dean to see him watching – to see him understanding the message that was being sent.

_If I lay here_  
_If I just lay here_  
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we’re told_  
_Before we get too old_  
_Show me a garden that's bursting into life_

Dean brought his head up, once again locking gazes with Sam. Sam gasped when he saw that Dean’s eyes were shimmering with tears.

_All that I am_  
_All that I ever was_  
_Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_

_I don't know where_  
_Confused about how as well_  
_Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here_  
_If I just lay here_  
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

The crowd was quiet for a moment as the last reverberations of Dean’s voice echoed through the room. 

And then people started cheering and clapping and whistling. 

Jill’s voice rang out, perhaps with slightly less enthusiasm after realizing where Dean’s affections lie, “Ok… and that was Dean singing “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol. Great job, Dean. Next up is Jim who will be entertaining us with some Garth Brooks and then Mary’s on deck!”

Neither Dean nor Sam paid the slightest bit of attention to Jill. Dean was nodding at people as they called out “great job”, “great voice”, “wow” as he passed. His eyes never left Sam. Sam was busy fighting off the urge to charge up to Dean and… well, he didn’t know what he’d do then, but his body was definitely telling him to move in that direction.

When Dean got back to their barstools, he stood next to Sam without looking at him. 

Pete set down another shot of Jack. “On the house, kid! You have a great voice! You really set the bar high for these regulars.” Pete chortled as he walked away to serve another customer.

Dean didn’t pick up the shot and he didn’t look at Sam. Sam turned and moved closer to Dean, putting his hand gently on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean…” Sam said in low tones.

Dean looked up into Sam’s eyes and Sam felt his eyes mist over. Dean’s eyes were still bright with tears, and under them Sam could see the desperation and fear Dean usually buried deep. Sam dug in his pocket for his wallet. Keeping his hand on Dean’s shoulder and maintaining eye contact, he flipped out a credit card, throwing it down on the bar. “Hey, Pete. Keep our tab open, ok?” Sam asked, never looking away from Dean. 

“Sure thing…” Pete looked down at the card. “Mr. Smith.”

Sam grabbed Dean’s hand and led him out the front of the building, continuing on until they were on the side of the structure, out of the line of sight for people entering and leaving the facility. Sam leaned up against the building and drew Dean into the circle of his arms, holding him tight. 

Dean shuddered as he let out a sob and Sam used long, slow strokes of his hands up and down Dean’s back to comfort him.

Dean’s head was tucked up under Sam’s chin, his palms were flat against Sam’s chest and his feet were planted together, framed on either side by Sam’s feet. Their bodies were pressed against one another from head to toe and Dean relaxed into the familiar scent of his younger brother, letting the heat radiating off Sam’s body soothe him.

Sam’s eyes were closed and he was pouring all of his love for Dean into his hands as they traveled up and down Dean’s back. When he felt Dean relax into him, he dropped his head so that his mouth was next to Dean’s ear, their cheeks pressed closely together. Sam could feel a day’s worth of stubble scratching against his skin.

“I… I’m sorry, Sammy…” Dean whispered.

“For what, Dean?” Sam asked softly.

Dean sighed, shaking his head slightly. “I dunno. Everything I guess.” Sam held Dean tighter, ceasing the movement of his hands and just holding Dean firmly against him. He had nothing to be sorry for.

Sam took a shaky breath. “Did you… uh… were you… um… singing that song for me… or to me, Dean?”

Dean took a deep breath… “Sammy… I can’t…”

Sam pushed Dean back just a little and then used his finger to tilt Dean’s face up so he’d have to look at him. Dean kept his eyes averted, unable to meet Sam’s eyes.

“Look at me, Dean.” Sam whispered. When Dean’s eyes met Sam’s, Sam asked again in a breathy whisper, “For me or to me, Dean?”

Dean closed his eyes briefly, and when he reopened them he said, “Both, Sammy.”

Sam removed his finger from under Dean’s chin, moving his hand to his face instead. His fingertips were touching Dean’s cheek lightly and he used his thumb to softly stroke over Dean’s cheekbone. “Then the answer is yes, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to understand what Sam meant. Sam leaned forward bringing his lips close, so that they were nearly touching Dean’s. 

“Yes, I will lie with you and just forget the world.” Sam closed the tiny gap between their lips, tilting his head slightly in order to better capture Dean’s lips with his own. The first kiss was so soft, only seconds long, but it touched both of them in ways they could have never imagined. 

Sam drew back just a little, letting his lower lip linger on Dean’s, dragging his lip over Dean’s until they separated.

Dean sucked in a breath, his eyes open and searching Sam’s. 

Sam moved his hand from Dean’s cheek to card his fingers though Dean’s hair. He then used that hand to pull Dean’s face back for more kissing. Their mouths met hungrily and they were both making little needy sounds deep in their throats as their tongues entwined with passion and their lips became wet and swollen from their kissing.

They broke apart again, breathing heavily, filled with desire. 

“We should close out our tab.” Sam suggested breathlessly.

“Back to the motel?” Dean asked, his eyes full of desperate need.

Sam grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him back in, kissing him hard and deep. Dean moaned and Sam growled when they broke apart again. 

“Fuck yes, back to the motel.” Sam’s voice was low and harsh with years of need, which Dean’s song had dragged from deep inside of Sam.

Dean kissed Sam’s cheek. “I’ll get the car, you close out, k?”

Sam nodded as he passed Dean the keys to the Impala and then he followed Dean back to the front of the building. He found his eyes devouring the strong lines of Dean’s ass. It felt good to openly appraise his brother without trying to hide it. 

Sam gave Dean’s ass a smack as they separated. Dean barked out a laugh and blushed furiously.

Sam found a blushing Dean to be adorable as hell. He pushed open the door and strode to the bar on long legs that felt a little weak in the knees. Pete had their tab ready for a signature. Sam felt his face flush when Pete gave him a knowing look. He hurried to gather up his card and their jackets. 

Pete leaned across the bar. “So… good luck! And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He snickered as he winked at Sam. Sam all but ran out of the bar. Dean had the Impala waiting for Sam as he exited. Sam jumped right into the driver’s seat and told Dean about Pete. 

Dean laughed and also found a blushing Sam to be something he’d like to see more of in the future. 

Sam was smiling at him, his dimples radiating happiness. Dean hesitated and then thought, “fuck it”. He leaned across the seat and kissed Sam, letting his tongue seek entrance into Sam’s mouth. It wasn’t hard – Sam let him right in. They kissed for a few moments and then Dean moved back, as Sam threw the car into Drive and grabbed Dean’s hand. 

He didn’t let go until they got to the motel.

Once back at the motel, both men leapt from the Impala like their lives depended on it. Dean grabbed Sam’s hand as they ran toward their room. Dean fumbled the key a couple of times, mostly due to the fact that Sam wouldn’t stop kissing him, but also a little from nerves. 

When Dean finally got the door open, they wrapped each other up in their arms and as they kissed, Dean kicked the door shut. They frantically shed their clothing with their lips locked in a kiss. When they were naked, Sam threw back the bedspread and sheets, pushing Dean back onto the bed. Jumping in after him, they laughed as they kissed and tried to get into a good position to do some truly soulful kissing.

Finally lying next to one another, bodies touching from their ankles on up, their kisses turned slower, deeper, dirtier… suggestive stroking with tongues, moaning and tiny gasps of need filled the silence of the room.

“I had another song…” Dean mumbled as he kissed along Sam’s jaw.

“Wha…?” Sam asked breathlessly.

Dean moved his head back, looking into Sam’s eyes. “I put 2 request slips in… numbered so she’d know which one to pick first.”

Sam kissed Dean’s lips gently. “Why two?”

Dean kissed Sam back hard. “In case the first one didn’t do the trick.” Dean looked very earnest and intent.

Sam framed Dean’s face with his hands, planting a series of soft kisses across his cheeks and mouth. “I think it did the trick.”

Dean smiled into their kiss. “Mmmm… hmmmm…”

Suddenly Sam pulled back. “What was the other song?”

Dean shook his head. “Nope. Didn’t need it. It’s not important.”

Sam flipped Dean on his back and started tickling him. “You better tell me or I’ll tickle you until you puke.”

Dean was trying to buck Sam off, but his efforts were half-hearted at best. He was much more interested in the long length of hardness rubbing against his thigh. He really wanted to investigate that, so he gave in. 

“Ok… ok… stop tickling me. I’ll tell you!” Dean laughed.

Sam stopped tickling him but he didn’t let him move. “I’m waiting.”

Dean sighed and looked away. “Truly, Madly, Deeply.”

Sam’s eyes lit up. “Savage Garden?”

Dean nodded. Sam kissed him quickly and then he left the bed. 

“Where are you going?” Dean asked in confusion.

“One sec.” Sam said, rummaging around in his bag. Sam quickly palmed some packets of lube he kept in his bag and continued digging, until… he found what he was looking for. Taking his iPod out, he rested it in his external docking station and queued up a playlist called “Love Songs”, starting it on a specific song.

Dean watched Sam walk back toward him and he let his tears fall. Sam dropped the packets of lube on the nightstand as he slid in next to Dean and brought him close, kissing him gently as Darren Hayes’ voice filled the room. 

_I'll be your dream_  
_I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy_  
_I'll be your hope I'll be your love_  
_Be everything that you need_  
_I'll love you more with every breath_  
_Truly, madly, deeply do_  
_I will be strong I will be faithful_  
_'cause I'm counting on_  
_A new beginning_  
_A reason for living_  
_A deeper meaning, yeah_

As Sam tentatively took Dean’s cock in his hand, he looked down into Dean’s eyes.

“Dean… I don’t really know what I’m doing… so…” Sam whispered.

Dean kissed Sam softly. “I don’t know what I’m doing either, Sammy… but we’ll figure it out… we always do.” Dean smiled as he pulled Sam in for another kiss.

As they gave into their shared passion, they let it guide them. Instinctively, they figured out how to be together like this, taking their time with gentle touches and sweet kisses. When Dean finally slid himself deep inside Sam, they looked at one another in wonder.

Their love being realized was like a tumbler falling into place in a lock. Everything would always be different now, but they’d found this together and it was theirs. 

Dean leaned down and kissed Sam slowly, letting him get used to the feeling of Dean being so deep inside him. When Sam was ready, he wrapped his legs around Dean and encouraged him to move.

They moved together in the darkness of the night, loving each other as they’d both wanted to for over a decade. It was better – sweeter – than either had ever imagined. It was everything they’d dreamed about and hoped for… and more. 

So much more.

Later, they lay together, spent and happy, wrapped up in one another physically, the way they’d always been wrapped up in one another emotionally.

Dean was trailing kisses over Sam’s neck when Sam whispered, “I knew, you know.”

“Wha…?” Dean asked, continuing his kisses.

“I knew when you checked in on me at Stanford. I could… feel… you. I could feel your eyes on me. I… um… I could feel your love. I always knew.” Sam said softly.

Dean looked at Sam, a quizzical look on his face. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

Sam sighed. “I didn’t say anything when you were doing it because I knew if I talked to you face to face, I would just leave Stanford. I would have just left it all. And I didn’t want you to feel guilty… to feel like you ‘enticed’ me away from my new life. Staying away from you was the hardest thing I’d ever done.”

Dean looked at Sam in surprise. “You would have left everything? Even Jess?”

Sam gave Dean a sad smile. “Yeah, Dean. I would have left it all without a second thought just to be with you. And in hindsight, that would have worked out a lot better for Jess…”

Dean hugged Sam close. “Aww, Sammy… don’t do that. You didn’t know what would happen. It’s not your fault, Sammy.” Dean kissed him gently.

Sam nodded, fighting back tears. “I know, Dean.” Letting out a deep breath, Sam continued. “I thought… I thought after dad died that maybe… this… would happen… but it was like you had packed all of your love away… I used to lay awake at night and wonder where it had gone.”

Dean kissed Sam’s tears away. “It was never gone, Sammy. I thought you were only with me for vengeance against the demon at first. And then later… well, there were just too many other distractions and reasons not to let my emotions rule me.”

Sam nodded his understanding. “So… why today, Dean?”

Dean propped himself on one elbow to look down into Sam’s eyes. He lazily traced the contours of Sam’s face with a gentle finger. “I kept thinking about Ava… and Cold Oak… and I thought about when Jake… um…” Dean paused to get his emotions in check while Sam rubbed his arm soothingly, encouraging him to continue. “Well… I guess I just didn’t see any reason to keep denying what I felt.”

Sam pulled Dean down for a kiss and then looked at him in wonder… he had always been so brave. “That was a big risk you took, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “I know, but I was ready to sing it to Jill if you looked disgusted or uninterested.” He smiled. “You know I always like to have contingency plans…”

Sam kissed him again, “Like a second song in case your little brother is particularly dense?” And then Sam growled. “You better not sing for anyone but me, Dean.”

Dean stroked the back of his fingers over Sam’s cheek. “Never, Sammy. For me, it’s only you… always.”

Sam wrapped Dean up tightly in his arms. “Me too, Dean.”

For the rest of his life, whenever Sam thought about the night when he and Dean first got together, his thoughts always started with, “And then he sang to me…”

For the rest of his life, Dean never sang for or to anybody but Sam.

_And when the stars are shining_  
_brightly in the velvet sky,_  
_I'll make a wish send it to heaven_  
_Then make you want to cry_  
_The tears of joy for all the_  
_pleasure and the certainty_  
_That we're surrounded by the_  
_comfort and protection of_  
_The highest powers_  
_In lonely hours_  
_The tears devour you_

_I want to stand with you on_  
_a mountain_  
_I want to bathe with you in the sea_  
_I want to lay like this forever_  
_Until the sky falls down on me_

_I'll be your dream I'll be your wish_  
_I'll be your fantasy_  
_I'll be your hope I'll be your love_  
_Be everything that you need_  
_I'll love you more with every breath_  
_Truly, madly, deeply do_


End file.
